Barnyard BBS

I was somewhere...
thinking something...
being someone elseā€¦
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3/22/2009 9:31:00 PM

wow it has been like forever that i have been here and written anything...

and here i am ready to give birth and just now writting...  well i should not say ready to give birth because well she should stay in my belly for a few weeks before i let her out... if is just that it feels like i have been pregnant and sick foever...i just don't like feeling like i am missing out on life. and that is how i am feeling... my world seems to consist on going to the Dr and my bed room...

 if anyone tells you that bed rest is a vacation they have never been on bed rest it is nothing like a vacation it is down right depressing.  i do not like having to depend on very one for nearly everything, i am a person that likes to do things on her own even if they are hard to do.... while i was in the hospital oh yeah i have not mentioned that have i? i was in the hospital for 50 days... not a fun time let me tell you.. i survived the stay and a few times i should have asked for help because i was just in pain but i didn't i was too stubborn and determed to do it myself. so that is what i did.

i am noticeing that alot of people are excited about Sophia's arrival (Sophia is what we are naming the baby). and yes we know it is going to be a girl we had they look a few times to make sure.  and she is spoiled even before she is out of my belly... Ben is making a movie of the whole thing... to embarase her when she gets older , you know the movie that we will show her boy friend before they go out on there first date... i hope that it makes her turn completely red to the point that the boy will not want to touch her... a wonderful birth control i do believe... i did suggest to the hospital that they do a high risk teen meeting right in our ward so that we can scare the living shit out of the girls who think being pregnant is wonderful... i do not think that i have had a moment when i can just enjoy being a pregnant woman. it just has not been fun...

 many have threatened me about even thinking of having another baby... and i think that they are right i would be nuts.


well i know that i have gabbed enough so will let ever one go with a promise of coming back and writing again real soon. 



long time no writing
1/3/2008 10:09:00 AM

Thought that it was about time that i wrote an update ....


well lets see what is happening in our lives... not much actually. life has been rather calm and relaxing lately. even Christmas this year was not stressfull. I do think that has to do with me over planning and getting everything cooked before hand and then just heating it up on the big day... I think that everyone had a good time as well.... sorry that there is no pictures that is one thing we forgot to do... and this years table setting was out of this world you would have thought that everyone was eating in the very high class resteraunt, but nope they were in my livingroom....

 I do need to thank Martha Steward for some great ideas that i would have never had without her wonderful show... I also need to thank Longwood Gardens for the inspiration that they gave as well, because of them each place setting had a little gift, and everything was done in white and silver... a rather dramatic effect.

well Christmas has all been cleaned up and put away. Ben wanted everything away by the new year. so that is what i did for him everything is complete and wonderful for the new year.

oh there is one thing that i should tell everyone out there with a wii..... the game raymond raving rabbeds is awesome. i loved every moment of playing it and i have already beat the game. i just could not stop playing... it has humor that is good for the young and the old... even Ben was getting into it... also the wii bowling is the coolest things that is out there.... Ben had my grandfather playing wii bowling on Christmas morning, that was just awesome.... sadly i do need to say that the game Golden Compass is not good at all. the graphics are rather poor, and the game plot is rather confusing for people that have not seen the movie. i tried to sell it back to game stop, and they would only give me 8$ for a game that i orignally paid 50$. sorry to say i did not trade it in i kept it and will trudge throu it when i have time...

 there is one other small thing that is should mention and that is about health insurance... it is unbelievable... i nearlly fell over when i went to the pharmacy the other night. completely insane i tell you... i can see why people would rather be on a well fare health care plan then have a job and get health care through an employer.... i know for a fact that if you have well fare and are on Access drugs cost a single 1$. Here i go to get my meds and it cost me 87$. i really think that this is rather unfair... i know people that are on well fare / access and are getting better medical treatment then i am and yet they are not paying a dime while i am paying a rather large sum. sorry but there have been some months that i was just working to pay for going to the dr. and if i am forced to do that i really feel that everyone should be forced to do the same things... make hard choices... there was a time that i thought that we all had to do this, but after meeting people that are getting free rides and seeing how they are living, and then looking at how i am living with a bunch of hard work it is rather upsetting. Then i think of how hard it is to determine who is in need and who is not, i know that i would not like to be the person that makes that decition... so i do not think that i am going to complain about this problem any longer until there is a good solution.

 okay that is it for this post... talk to everyone later.

Calendar goodness
10/14/2007 10:50:00 PM

i wanted to be able to keep things straight and also have other people aware of what i was doing without having to constantly having conflicts... so i discovered google calendars so now people can see what is planned and when.


 just click on the button above and you can see the calendar... if there is anything that you feel should be changed or done please let me know and i will be more then happy to consider it.

 oh and the book review is coming, i just have not had alot of time lately to sit down and write it out.

 thank you for your time... enjoy


Golden Compass
9/25/2007 3:40:00 PM

here is a movie that i so want to see i have read the books and they are amazing.... the imagery that they create in ones mind is out of this world.

i think that it is better then Harry Potter anytime. thou i little harder to ready do to word use.

here is a trailer of the movie that comes out in December of 2007.

if anyone would like a review of the book just let me know and i will post one that will not give way to the ending. 

 i hope that you enjoy


Something different
9/25/2007 3:11:00 PM

here is something that was sent to me in an e-mail.

it is rather sad and remarkable. the movie below was created by a 15 year old girl. 

it is rather moving i thought and well i wanted to share it with anyone that so happens to read my blog.

i hope that everyone enjoys the movie and perhaps thinks a little afterwards.

i am normally not a polictal person i do not like getting involved in that kind of thing, but i have to say this...

i am tired of hearing people talk bad about our President. Bush may have made misstakes and the man has come to the US people and said so. but at the same time He is doing the best that He can and doing what He thinks is right. 

Our people are over in the war fighting. We need to finish the job that we went there to do. it does not matter who started the fight all that matters is that we follow it to the end. 

the other day i had a talk with Ben and we were talking about WWI and WWII.... He made the comment that in those war it was different we were fighting for our Freedom. the enemy was on our shores. But you know i had to disagree with that, the enemy was not on our shores, the closest the enemy came to us was Pearl Harbor. and yes that woke a lot of people up. the US has lived a rather safe existance rather far from wars. in WWI it was London that was being bombed and France that was being destoried.... they are the peoples that had to rebuild there homes, schools and shops. there was no bombing on our coasts. Yet our men were there fighting and giving up there lives to make sure that others may be free. not us but all of Europe. 

so i am wondering why it that different from now. are we not fighting an enemy that wishes to  take anothers freedom? and that enemy that we are fighting did bomb our country. they came here and declaired war on us with the destruction on the Twin Towers in NY.  i know that my voice means very little and i know that many will not even see this blog post. but i say this. we need to say and fight we need to see this to the end. i am sorry that men are dieing this is war that is what happens in war. Those men and women over there know that they might die. so, i am going to support them as much as i am able too.  They are what i believe is keep the war from our shores.

okay i have gotten off the soap box.


There is progress
9/21/2007 6:12:00 PM


Okay today i must say there is progress. The pain that i have been having since the surgery is starting to go away. I must thank the invention of advil for that i think. I took a big dose of it last night like the Dr. suggested, because the vicodin was just not doning anything and well it did the trick and i was able to sleep with very little pain. Today I have backed off the pain killers, and just used some advil. To me that is a big improvement.

The Dr. said that i would start feeling like i could do things by Saturday and well she was right. I feel by Saturday i will be bright as rain or atleast able to forget about the pain as much as possible.

I think that i will beable to go back to work on Tuesday. thou i still need to tell Lori abuout needing to leave early on the 3rd. That is one appointment that i do not want to miss.

On another topic, I recieved the application for the Community college. Plus i did get a call back from University of DE. Do to being a little out of it lately i have not called back i figured that i would do so on Monday so that i can set up an appointment with the Engineering Department. As per the voice-mail message i got form them i think that they are a bit confused as to what i intend to do. I told them that i already have a BA and that i wish to recieve a BS in Engeering from there school. They asked on voice mail who did i get a BA in Engineering and was i after a Masters? So i think that i need to explain things to them. Atleast try explaining things to them.

Okay lets see what else is there to tell.

Ion has not been acting himself lately. He has not been as active sleeping and laying down alot. Then yesterday i found him licking and scratching at himself, so i think that He has fleas, so i went and got some flea stuff for Him and then others hoping that will bring him out of his funk. if not i will take hime to Saraha and see if she can see what is wrong with him. After all he is my baby boy and i do not want him feeling ill in any way.

well that is about all i have for today. will write more later.  


Being a Woman sucks
9/20/2007 6:07:00 PM

okay it is like 3 days after surgery and  well i must say that i am miserable.

i was okay monday, had some cramping but all in all okay, then tuesday it started to hurt but still tuesday morning i was okay.. webnesday i ended up in bed all day because i was just in pain....

now today i have called the Dr. twice she is telling me that everything is okay, that it is because she took so much material out of me, and i will not want to go anywhere just stay home until saturday...

i just want the pain to stop , i hurt so bad it''s not funny, and i am trying so hard to not be grumpy or cranky, and keep a good attitude and such. but i hurt so bad, i just want to cry. i can do this till saturday it is bound to get better. i have to get better. if not i am calling the Dr. on monday and telling her in very firm words that she needs to stop this pain now.

okay i think that i have complained enough will get a drink and go lay back down and see if there is something good on TV. 

Monday's surgery, and recovery.....
9/19/2007 8:39:00 AM


hi everyone.

i would so like to thank Diane for staying with us longer then she expected. She was a big help and a joy to talk with, most wonderful company. thank you very much.

okay lets recap on what happened monday.

monday i went in at 6:30 to have a

{Dilation and Curettage - For dilation and curettage (D&C), the opening of the uterus is stretched (dilated). A special device called a curette is used to gently loosen and remove a sample of the uterine lining. This tissue then is studied in the lab to check for cancer.}

and a

{Hysteroscopy - For hysteroscopy, your doctor inserts a slender, telescope-like device into the uterus to look for areas in the lining that may be abnormal.}

i must say that St. Frances Hospital is out of this world awesome. they are kind, gental and compassionate. just what a person would want in a hospital. i did my best to keep a smile on my face and a positive attitude the whole time. figured why be down in the dumps and all closed up, it was not going to help anything to be that way. one of the nurses even called me a ray of sunshine, that just put a smile on my face.

okay now to the informative parts. the Dr. looked in and found a uterus covered in polyps. one was blocking a flopian tube as well. so she removed all the uterine polyps, sent some biopsies away to have tested, and cleaned out the uterus making it nice and smooth as it should be. She also said that they would come back, so that in a month Ben and i are to work on the baby thing, and get pregant as soon as the uterus is healed and the cervix is closed back down. this is because right now the uterus is what it is suppost to be and the baby has a huge chance to attach to the uterine wall which is a good thing. after the baby is born and things shrink back down to normal  i am going to have one more surgery. the Dr. is going to go in and lazer the inside of the uterus, destorying the endometrium (uterine walls) this will stop all growth of the walls, but there are side effects to this, 1. i will not have a period and 2. i will not be able to have anymore children. using the lazer is an alternitive to having a Hysterectomy. the Dr. said that they try not to do Hysterectomies anymore but try other ways of doing things. 

i am very happy that she is doing what she can so that Ben and i can have one kid before we have to act on the other stuff.

there is a down fall to all of this, i ended up with a blatter infection, which i must say is not fun. so, yesterday afternoon, and today i am hurting because of the combination of trama that is going on down below. yes, i did call the Dr. and she put me on a bunch of meds to calm the pain and stop the infection.

okay i think that i am going to go and take a nap now.

will write again later. when things have gotten a bit happier and chipper in life. 



the day after B-day
9/13/2007 7:42:00 PM

okay i think that it is about time that i give everyone a update as to what is going on

well yesterday it was my b-day if no one noticed.... grins

 i want to so thank Walt and Diane for calling me it was such a surprise to hear Walts voice on the voice mail

and then later in the day Diane's thank You soooooooo much

i will also say that when i received the card from Butch i nearly fell over i was so surprised... thank You Butch so much and it was great talking with You on the phone the other night. 

 oh and i got to talk to my sister, Grandmother and Step-dad...

okay okay let me recap what all happened from the wick celebration

last friday Ben took me to see Wicked in box seats .... i cried so much and really enjoyed the musical even if it was not like that book in many ways.  i even got a T-shirt... it was way amazing

okay what happened yesterday... first thing in the morning i was allowed to open my presents...

there was a new pair of crocs they are blue and oh so nice looking on my feet.... and then i got to open my big present ... it was a wii and the game Zelda. i have been playing it ever since it is a great play system and very natural to use which i did not think it would be.

i love the wii

okay after the opening of the presents Ben was off to work...

i on the other hand had an appointment with my girl Dr. i know it is not the funnest thing to do on ones' birthday but it had to be done, and it was the only time i could see her, you see i was lucky i was taking this med that made me rather sick and was on it for a month, it is  called megace. well last Friday was the last dose so i called the Dr. to see what she wanted to do and she said she wanted to see me. and when did she want to see me but on my birthday first thing . so i could not argue. well the appointment sounded really great i was to start on clomide (fertility meds) again and also was to start taking 4mg of folic acid  and baby aspirin, once i get preggie then i stop the aspirin and go on injectables which is okay.  so it seemed that things where looking up and there was now a plan of action as to creating life.

there was one thing that we had to do and that was an ultra sound to see if the problem i was having was taken care of with the megace... you see a normal uterus is 7-9mm thick and well i ran into a bleeding problem and Dr. order an ultra sound a month ago and discovered that my walls were 17mm thick , the megace was to take care of the wall thickness and shrik it to normal. the only way to tell if it worked is with another ultra sound. which i am great with no problem drink water lay down get to see pics of my insides and then away i go. not a problem besides the Dr. and i thought that the walls would be back to normal.  i scheduled the ultra sound for today and had the greatest tech in the world oh she was funny.

the Dr. called me later this afternoon because not everything is perfect and right as she hoped. instead of the walls getting thinner they got thicker now they are 26mm. and it explains alot with how i have been feeling, it was not all the meds fault it seems. i  can not have a baby at the moment because the walls are too thick the baby would not be able to attach. the walls need to be thinned and the med did not work so i am having a short quick in and out on Monday to surgically thin the walls and see if she can spot the problem. basically we are going to stop the growth in it's tracks. plus she said that she wants me to get preggie as soon as possible if all goes well. i am hoping that all goes well. guess i am not working on monday Ben is going to take off too. it will be good to have Him there with me.

okay back to the birthday....

after the Dr. i went on a secret voyage for a Walt Birthday gift hehehehehehehehe.... it was a very long trip but well worth it.  met some really nice people too.. but that is all i am going to say until the actual birthday of Walt.

then i came back home got something to eat and off again i went to an appointment to see about taking a Math class and some other classes at the community college and at University of De... a very cool thing is that the BA that i already have and is worthless will transfer so i will not have to take any junk courses ... it is something to keep my mind from going nuts , and they are cheep enought that working for military pays for them. which is awesome. i need to meet with a person in the engineering department and i am waiting for an app from the community college. don't worry i am going to take this slow and i am not going to tack on more det we have enough everything that i do in regards to learning i plan to pay for with my play money which is the money that i save up from working for Military Fin doing QC. and also working over time in collections.  it is a goal to shoot for and a way of supporting myself if something ever happened to Ben god forbid. i need and want to be able to be independent and stand on my own two feet if i need.  the sad thing is i looked in the big book of jobs and well my BA in Fine arts is only worth between 24,000 and 14,000$ and they come right out and say you will need a second job you can not live on this.  Ben finds this funny me i find it frustrating so i am doing something about it.

from there i came back home and played with my wii until Ben came home.

Ben being the wonderful person that He is surprised me once more with a dinner at Krazy Kats the best place ever {simple elegance}. we both had fish and ice tea it was very good and the waiter was great He remembered us from before and was funny he made the night very enjoyable.

from there we came home and crashed for the night.... i am still tired today from how full the day was.

and i left out the going on line and starting to review algebra problems and working my way to Cal. very exciting stuff LOL

okay i think that is good for one post don't you think... never a dull moment  


9/12/2007 12:20:00 AM


alll celebrate the day of the Wickian birth.....


just kidding it's my birthday and i am like overly tired and way too silly and gitty for my own good....


but i had to share my joy


LOVE you everyone

love You BEN thank You for the site it is out of this world...