Barnyard BBS

…enemies becoming friends,
…when bitterness ends
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Too Perfect
2/2/2007 9:21:00 AM

Art imitates reality.


No.  I didn't Photoshop it. 

12/11/2006 12:34:00 PM
Here's some comedy gold from my dear mother... Behold the email that I just received:

Subject: Mom Figured It Out!

Thanks anyway. I was using the wrong hole.

Ok, now that I've got your attention, here's the rest of it:

Subject: Are You There? HELP! HELP!!

I'm trying to record a cd. 'Need to put Christmas card note file onto CD so Walt can print from his computer upstairs. I have CD in drive, but Easy Creator tells me it isn't proper medium and to insert a CD. Duh ... ?

10/31/2005 5:07:00 PM

This is especially funny because it's real.  Look it up, if you don't believe me.  They deal with tightly packed coatings. 

This stuff writes itself...
10/15/2005 12:27:00 AM
So, as you might guess, my family frequently reads my blog.

Here are two emails that my mother sent in response to my last post:

Email #1
(Doesn't get it yet)

Womens Camel Toe link doesn't work.

Email #2
(Get's the joke)

SHAME ON YOU BEN YANIS! You shouldn't even know to search out such things as camel toe. ShaME, SHAME, SHAme on you! Mother.
10/14/2005 10:47:00 AM
When advertising goes horribly wrong.  That will teach them to make wildcard Google ads...

7/19/2005 1:46:00 PM

Ok, since some of my friends were in town for the wedding, I was inspired to provide you all with these fine....

Dead Baby Humor

  1. How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
    With a blender!
  2. How do you get them out again?
    With tortilla chips!!!
  3. What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?
    I don't have a BMW in my garage.
  4. How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
    The dog plays with it more.
  5. What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
    When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
  6. What's funnier than a dead baby?
    A dead baby in a clown costume! 
  7. How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
    Stick a javelin through it's head.
  8. How many babies does it take to paint a house?
    Depends how hard you throw them.
  9. How do you prevent a baby from exploding in the microwave?
    Poke holes in it with a coat hanger.
  10. What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies?
    One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
  11. How do you make a dead baby float?
    Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby.
  12. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of golf balls?
    You can't move golf balls with a pitchfork.
  13. What's worse than throwing a dead baby off of a cliff?
    Catching it.  At the bottom.  With a pitchfork.
7/5/2005 5:10:00 PM

I have just discovered something that is most remarkable...

Dog camoflauge!  It's the perfect solution for .... .... some situation that I have yet to encounter.  But it's amazing nonetheless!


Exhibit A, a covert Dobermann.

6/2/2005 4:35:00 PM
After one change request too many, I decided to put together this little comic strip.  I can't claim to have drawn it; I just did the captions.

Go ahead and guess which of the two characters represents me...